Name: Dr. Objective, Mr. Subjective Home: Bronx, New York, United States About Me: I am one of the most humorously random people you will meet. Anything else you want to know, please don't hesitate to ask. See my complete profile
Wat up blogging dudes. I decided to write today becuz I felt myself regressing and everyone is doing something and I literally had no1 to speak to. I was talkin' to my friend Nicole for a lil' bit, but she must've got OD busy or something must've happened becuz she ain't text me bac...and I texted my friend Tania, but she ain't respond. She'll probably randomly text or call me tomorrow. I guess I should update about that crush of mine: nothing happened last Wednesday. I invited her to hang out with me, my brother Dylan and my friend Meredith after class since it was the last class, but she had something occupying her time already. I was really planning to open up to her about how i felt about her, but...i guess i gotta b a lil more patient...or a lil more persistent...idk. I really like her and I hope I get to tell her while I still have a open opportunity..Anyway, today was stagnant. Like I mentioned before, it was one of those days dat it seemed like everyone had something to do...except me. Itz a little depressing and itz days like this where I catch myself regressing to the worse side of me: missing my ex and all my old "friends" and the days where I always had something to do or someone to hang with...I was fighting myself all day to check my X's myspace. Luckily, I'm smart enough not to even put myself through that again. That's one of the main reason why I like occupying my time wisely...my mind keeps off her...den I don't have to reminisce or start listening to those slow jams that kick u down in the dumps about break-ups and stuff...I noticed that lately, she's been on AIM alot..itz the 1st time I've seen her online consistently since the summer time..Idk...I can insinuate that she actually misses me and is waiting for that day she can see me online, but I doubt it..Her girlz prolli giving her all that she needs (yeah...datz right...i said "girl" not "man"...=-O). Well, as depressed as I sound, I know I'm worth better and I know I'll find someone that'll appreciate me the way she never did...and knowing that keeps the depressing times to a limit. Days like this become introspective and reflective, where I just analyze where I'm at: if i'm becoming a better person, if i'm healing from periods that hurt me alot, if i'm destined to become something relevant in this life where people just settle for the minimal, etc. etc. etc. Thank goodness for blogs lol. Might as well throw in some positive sounding news since all that seemed a little pessimistic. Me and Nicole are getting cooler and cooler everyday. We talk alot and I really like her as a person becuz shez REAL honest. Like, one of the few girls that I'm cool with that I can be real blatantly blunt with and I don't feel stupid or insecure. I admitted to her that it scares me how open we are to each other becuz itz practically identical to how me and my X started out, but she reassured me that shez different and we're taking it one step at a time and not rushing into anything (LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO) to avoid any heartbreaks..but we really like each other...well lol, I really like her. Shez a little bashful and doesn't like to admit she likes me, but I can read her like a open book at times. I'm curious to see where it goes...Anyway, I'll leave it at that. I love writing in my blogs. They really help me when I'm not feeling too great :-D. Anway, until next time..
**P.S. Go Get Joe Budden's Mood Muzik 3: For Better or Worse. Some good music to vibe to, especially his heartfelt tracks. The track that's playing is my favorite song from the mixtape: "All of Me (Feat. Emanny).
Hey blog readers. I honestly don't know if anybody has been reading my blog besides my accomplice in intellect a.k.a. my brother from another womb, but I'm gonna write again becuz i don't do it for the attention. Well I do a lil' lol, but most, I write to get off my chest. Be4 I rant, let me just say I just got back from seeing I Am Legend and it was quite a interesting flick. Do NOT go see it if you do not have a open mind and all you're gonna do is ridicule. It was a good flick, so check it out. Moving on....I recently started talkin' to this girl from my Bio class and shez so cool and I think shez really cute, but itz crazy...becuz she has self-conscious issues. Granted, everybody in some aspect, has self-conscious issues, but herz derived from the fact that her X(s) use to tell her demeaning things. I think thatz ridiculous. When I get told by girls that they feel ugly and other things like that and itz becuz of their Xs, it gets me highly upset. I would never sit there and date a girl and just demoralize her with my words. I felt so bad for her becuz shez not ugly at all. I guess men that do that becuz itz their way of establishing "power". You make a girl feel like shyt and in some weird hypnotic way, she falls under the trance that no1 but you will accept her for what she is. That shyt fucking disgusts me. Guys like that should be handcuffed to a express train from Seattle to Missouri. My X was like that too and I thought she was absolutely beautiful and saw nothing wrong with her (notice what word stood out hehehehe). I don't know. I just wanted to air out about that a little bit. Plz excuse my ebonic misspellings. Itz literally 3 in the morning and i'm feeling hella lethargic lol. Hope u understand where I'm coming from. Next blog...who knows? Depends how I feel...Lata..
Curiousity + Anxiety = Internal Torturing of the Soul
So it's my first official blog and I think I'm gonna stick the subjective side of my personality. As I idly sit back and let me mundane weekend unfold, I sit back and contemplate about this absolutely beautiful girl that I'm getting to know in my Intro to Painting art class. This girl has everything right about her. She has a witty sense of humor, she's simplistic in her choice of fashion (she's not veiled in all of the latest name brands, which signifies that economically aware because she doesn't throw money away on labels, and wears what she is comfortable in and she just....wears it well), she has a personality that just draws you to her and she's just...perfect. At least from the outside, she appears perfect. It's always those girls that got abused when they were little and having arguing parents, etc. etc. etc. Idk. Something about this girl makes me happy...and she doesn't even know it. Sad. It seems a tad stalker-ish, but so be it. She alleviates some of the pain and torturing that's been embed inside me ever since me and my ex split. It's a risk trying to get to know her due to the fact that I feel so strongly about her and I barely know her and she could possibly have a boyfriend..or be a lesbian...or just not have time for anyone like in her life, but....i'm willing to risk it because fallin' in love is a risk in itself. It all sounds awkward and whatnot, but it's how I feel about her. She gave me her number after class on Wednesday and I texted her today to find out how her registration of classes went...but received no response :-\. Hopefully it's because she doesn't have text messaging on her plan. Guess I have to wait it out until next Wednesday. My female companion (friend) in school believes that my crush was flirting with me and that it's a strong possibility that she likes me because of subtle hints that were thrown around in class, but it's not for certain if she does find me attractive...and I can't pursue anything anyway..unless I call her...but that takes courage lol. Anyway, I digress. This girl is perfect from 1st glance and if it takes all the confidence inside me, I will get her to be mine. She seems perfect for me and is everything my X wasn't. Besides, if i can't have her as my girlfriend...being friends never hurt lol. Well, thanks for listening in world. Next blog...something objectively annoying that I'm sure that you all will relate to. Until next time...
Well ladies and gents, welcome to the page of a completely sensibly warped mind (a contradictory, i know. Accept it and move on). I plan to randomly spill my thoughts upon this page about things that irritate me. I'll also be expressing my emotions and what happens to be going in my life at the moment. I guess for my 1st blog, I should tell a little about myself. I am currently a college enrolled student with no occupation due to severe doldrums. I find myself lethargically inept alot of the time and feel like pursuing job opportunities in NYC is at times impossible due to lack of irrelevant previous job experiences and insignificant references from people who can't even recall my last name, among other things. I'm single, for all the sexy, nerdy female blog readers who get turned on by good vocabulary lol. I've recently come out of a 3 year relationship and i'll spare details, but suffice to say, it wasn't a good break up. I enjoy recreational activities and I love being out. I don't necessary have to be going somewhere specifically, like the movies or a club. A nice stroll through a park or a sitting at the local Barnes & Nobles, making a exploration for a interesting novel is just as acceptable. As for T.V., my face is always in front of one when i'm home unfortunately. I hate reality TV (any form of it, as you'll see in future postings), but I love 24 lol. 24...is my addiction. I'm a child at heart and a majority of the time, I'm watching some form of children's entertainment, whether it be animation or sitcom. As for music...I'm a hip hop and r&b supporter before anything else, but as of lately, I've really been trying to musically diversify myself, so i'm branching out slightly to rock and techno. Hmmmm personality traits....10 random, honest 1s: possessive, analytical, observant, hypocritical, emotional (not "emo". ARGH!! Hatred for the "emo" movement but...another posting), offensive, apathetic, loving, charismatic and....bold...at times lol. I think that's enough about me in one sitting. Any questions, leave a comment and i will respond becuz the computer is another form of technology that is in my face when i'm home lol. Lata World.
